I was out the other night and met a “man” that was sexy AF. He was tall, dark hair, nice beard, good build, had a voice that was so deep I felt my clit vibrate, and just plain sexy as all hell. So, after a few drinks, I thought, why not? Let’s have some fun.
We get to my place, and we are already heated. He took off his shirt and I was licking every single muscle he had, working my way down to what I just knew was going to be a massive, hard cock that was going to give me the pleasure that I’m worth receiving.
I take unclasp his belt, unbutton his jeans, pull down the zipper, reach in and tried to pull out a cock but instead, I pulled out a fucking Vianna fucking sausage!
I yank down his pants, on my knees, looking at this fucking choad, squinting my eyes, wondering if I was actually about to fuck a woman. Then, he has the nerve to tell me, “Yes, suck my meat” That was it, I busted out laughing. I look up at him, and am like “Seriously? This thing looks like a thumb that got hit by a hammer. What is this?” I couldn’t stop laughing.
He gets all flustered, trying to tell me how amazing it is, how it’s not the size that matters, blah blah, I was laughing harder every time he spoke. I reached in my back pocket and took a picture, I had to show my friends. Talk about the best “dick pic” He pulls up his pants, get all freaked out saying how mean I was, how I didn’t know a good cock, like, seriously, you can’t even use the word cock for this thing.
Finally, he grabs his shit and leaves, omg, I had tears running down my face I was laughing so hard. I ended up calling one of my real men to come over and not only share in the hilariousness that was this fat meat, but to satisfy me with a real cock that I know could give me what I deserved.
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